YOU'VE GOT MAIL: I'VE GOT FALSE HOPE

After re-watching 1998’s You’ve Got Mail starring the ever-charming Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, I pondered the consequences this movie has had on the hopes of North American singles everywhere, and how they may have been artificially filled with regard to the potential of finding love over the internet.

Chatrooms are basically extinct in the nucleus of contemporary online dating avenues, but dating websites use the same functions. I did a little research and was surprised to discover that Canadians spend more time on online dating sites than any other country—even more than the U.S. By 2005, over $500 million dollars were poured into the online dating industry, making it the second-largest industry behind pornography for “paid content” on the web. According to a study by JupiterResearch, the online dating market is expected to grow to $932 million by 2011.

What puzzles me about the immense popularity of online dating is the failure rate. 33% of online dating site users form a relationship—33% do not, and 33% give up. On top of that, 10% are scammers, 10% are sex offenders, and still only 10% leave within the first three months.

As I watched You’ve Got Mail, I became nostalgic for the (probably non-existent) days when chatrooms and emails were a spaceless place for exchanging ideas, advice and opinions from the mundane to the philosophical. Meg and Tom’s characters pour their most intimate (yet non-sexual) thoughts anonymously—with no profile, no webcam, no emoticons, nothing but screen names: Shopgirl and NY152. Virtual soul mates. The two are both in long-term relationships when they start emailing each other, and the movie promotes the idea that the things you can’t say to your spouse, you can say freely to an anonymous virtual friend and thus bear your unsatisfying real relationships. And when both characters eventually break up with their partners, it is not because of their cyber-infidelity, but because their discussions had opened up their eyes to the reality that they were not, in fact, in love with whom they were with.

The internet is idealized in that it allows strangers to connect and share with the possibility that time and space need not hinder relationships from forming. We can defy fate and take destiny into our own hands by seeking out our future-spouses online.

This has recently occurred to me as just one more way we are again messing with Mother Nature. Cupid needs to work mysteriously for us; we are not supposed to grab a bow and arrow and shoot each other and feel confident that we can aim the right shot ourselves. And what is even more ludicrous is paying corporations to “match” us up with strangers and thereby removing even the small amount of instinct and personal judgement chatrooms provided. Love can easily be half-constructed in the mind, so couples matched together by a professional site may meet and truly believe that the site worked. Yet with all the compatibility tests, shared interests and hobbies in common—how hard could it be to get along with somebody exactly like you? And when the relationship does not last in the long term, well, it wasn’t the online dating service or match making website’s fault. It simply did not work out with that particular compatible match. So, back to the site they go.

Isn’t it clear by now that anytime you have to pay for something, you have to keep paying for it? These sites make millions of dollars off of the most profound state of being that is now successfully commodified: love.

Why Gregor Rules.

Gregor Robertson is not your average politician. In fact, he is one of the most charismatic, uncharacteristic Canadian politicians in the game. And just look at those cheekbones.

Mr. Robertson is of NDP descent, and began his political career as an MLA for the Vancouver and Fairview region. Robertson also became a farmer and entrepreneur as the founder of Happy Planet juice. This background gave Vision Vancouver a rare advantage: a business-savvy NDP leader with goals, and planned agendas to achieve them.

Since Gregor Robertson and his Vision team took office in 2008, they have already transformed the city dubbed the best in the world. Vision Vancouver's target areas are:




1) Making Vancouver the "greenest" city on Earth;
2) Business facilitation; and
3) Ending homelessness

So, starting with number 1, for which Robertson has faced much critique (mainly because the term "greenest" was never specifically defined):

Evidence of environmental enhancement and protection can be seen in improved public transit (hybrid buses, added skytrains, added skytrain routes), added bicycle lanes on the roads (apparently more bike lanes are in Vancouver than in any other Canadian city), and tolling the Sea-to-Sky highway. During the Olympics, bike valets were introduced at all the major pavilions and will continue to be used for large-scale events downtown. Robertson's green agenda also includes promoting greener communities, jobs, and human health.



Business facilitation has been at the root of Vancouver's real estate boom. As more and more international corporations open offices in Vancouver, more businesses become attracted to the area, and the value of real estate increases. What is great about Vancouver is that even the small, one-of-a-kind shops can still thrive in areas like Commercial drive, Gastown, Granville Island, and West 4th Ave.


By 2015, Robertson promises to end homelessness in the Downtown eastside. Despite public concern, protest and fears, Vision's project HEAT (Homeless Emergency Action Team) has established five shelters in Vancouver, all of which have reached max capacity. Critics can bash his overreaching goals all they want, because putting an end to homelessness is not--nor should it be--a job for one man alone. Homelessness is a regional, national and international problem that is heavily rooted in the flaws of the North American societal structures. The goals Robertson sets may be unachievable and unrealistic, but at least he's seeing results and making progress.


Over the past two years, Vancouver was ranked the best city int he world. And Robertson has been Mayor for--that's right--the past two years. Coincidence? Perhaps. But obviously Gregor's charisma, ambitious attitude, motivation and fearlessness make him a truly unique figure in contemporary Canadian politics. He is a perfect blend of a pro-business Liberal, pro-environment Green, and a pro-equality NDP politician.

Gregor, if you read this, I will happily work on your provincial election campaign (pro bono!)

I practice Vancouveriteism.

What I've come to realize about being a true Vancouverite is that it can happen to you without you even being conscious of it.

This summer I moved away from Metropolitan bliss to my home town, where everyone I know is predictably found everywhere I go, and "downtown" consists of a single, run-down (some call it colorful I call it depressing) main street.

While enjoying the summer festivities of August long weekend, I stayed with my girls and we naturally did the following:

Had appys and drinks at Granville Island
Watched the finale of the fireworks at Granville Island
Started the next day off with yoga in the park (approx. 7:30am) and yes wearing LuLu Lemon (friend hand-me down, mind you)
Took the bus downtown
Got Starbucks
Watched the Gay Pride Parade
...Got Starbucks
Found our vegan friend who was volunteering for Oxfam (for the parade)
Went to a trendy Asian restaurant
Bought Keds off Robson st.

Sadly, before I could do a hike at Deep Cove or go for a jog around the Seawall, the last trainbus was about to depart and so my day in Vancouver had to end with that. Once home, the magic had faded and there I was: back in the town I so desperately want to move away from. Yet a true Vancouverite is always staying positive and productive, and so I'm consciously making an effort to enjoy home-life and make the most out of it. My first real art purchase was a beautiful landscape photograph of Vancouver at twilight, with the city lights glowing in the transforming evening sky. This will stay on my wall in my bedroom until it becomes my view. I will live in you, one day, Vancouver. One day.